Speed and Pace In Life

The modern world is filled with instant access to anything and anyone at any time and pressure to multi-task and produce more with less. I create lists, both written and mental, so that I can feel accomplishment and yet even on those days where I manage to complete these lists I feel no satisfaction.  What comes for me on those rare days is exhaustion.  This is not how I want to live my life in the second half and yet this pull is so powerful in my person that I sometimes feel powerless to change.

 

What I really want is a more balanced life. A life of only doing does not leave much time for spiritual matters, creativity or a sense of connection to others or the planet.  As I have gotten older I strive to be conscious and present to the opportunities and situations which greet me every day, however, I remain, for the most part, speeding through my life.

And yet, the universe sends opportunities to look at another way of being. There is no “To Do” telling me to talk to the neighbor about her garden, console a friend who has lost his cat or watch the last of a beautiful Northwest sunset. Yet, these are the things that give me great joy and a deep sense of connection and also nurture my soul. Yet, still,  society is telling me that these are not important and in fact are “unproductive” or not purposeful. How have I let the doing control my life?

Searching for some guidance I came across a wise little book (The Seven Whispers by Christina Baldwin). Christina offers hope and sustenance for the soul.  Christina suggests that what is missing from modern life is discernment between what she calls “Speed” and “Pace of Guidance”. Speed being the heroic journey that consumes the lives of the common man and woman demanding that we act fast and be driven by our technology. Pace of Guidance, on the other hand, means slowing down enough to be present to everything that comes through life’s front door and being able to hear the guidance that is available if we choose.

I resonate with Christina when she says “The pace of guidance, like peace of mind, begins internally—in me. Even though all my conditioning teaches me to accommodate speed, I am responsible for the pace I bring to the moment, just as I am responsible for the peace I bring to the moment.”  Yet I am so wired to the doing, doing, doing that to slow down and be present to my life feels like a character flaw or laziness or like I am somehow giving up. And yet I am constantly called to slow down.

I don’t know what the pace of guidance looks like on a full-time basis but I know that when I experience it I sense joy and deep appreciation and connection to Spirit. Every moment holds the opportunity to be totally present and intentional to my life.  Isn’t that really the foundation of a spiritual life?

For the time being it will have to be enough to simply ask the question, How do I move at the pace of guidance, no matter what speed the world asks me to move? Asking the question helps keep me present to what is happening in my life and reminds me to leave room for guidance to be heard. This is enough for now.

For Christina Baldwin's book.

What is an Elder - Part II

I found this quote in a recent article by Michael Meade.  I offer it here as a piece to contemplate and maybe as inspiration. Thanks to Ken Pyburn for sending the article.

"An old idea suggests that the only ones more idealistic than young people are the elders. It’s not that the elders naively believe that the great ideals of humanity, peace and justice, healing and compassion, are simply attainable. Rather, the idea is that without a commitment to such ideals a culture simply collapses into political infighting and economic warfare. The gridlock in the nation’s capitol may be an increasing national shame, but the grid lock on American imagination may be a greater tragedy in the making.

While the political parties fight over who might be the “adult in the room,” there is a desperate need for elders in communities throughout the country. Whereas the ’60s were characterized by change brought on by a youth revolution, the current morass may only be changed by an elder awakening. The revolution waiting to happen in this country may involve an awakening to the necessity of the role that elders can play in the great crises facing both culture and nature."

Sound familiar?

Here is the entire article.

Mature Conversation About Aging

I continue to be amazed by the level of excitement and interest generated by a good question. In my coaching practice and in the classroom I use questions to provoke discussion or thinking outside the box.  But not until recently have I become aware that I too have a need for discuaaion and conversation and sharing of wisdom around topics related to my own aging process.

Depending on the situation people come up to me and ask," Where can I go to have a mature conversation about growing older?" or "Where can I find people that share my desire to age differently?" or "How can I pass on my accumulated wisdom?" I usually don't have a very helpful response as there is no right answer, however, it has made me think which has led a few of us to start a peer group to have these kind of conversations we can't have with family or other friends.

Our group is using the guidelines laid out in Cynthia Trenshaw's little pamphlet "A Harvest of Years: A PeerSpirit Guide for Proactive Aging Circles" available from PeerSpirit.  What is unique about Cynthia's process is that there is not one leader but we are all responsible for the success of the group. I love that idea and I will let you know how we progress.

Can We Broaden the Discussion, Please?

The Elder Corps

Background:

Psychologists believe that the aging process naturally brings out a strong desire for higher-order altruistic community service and care for the natural world which can actually supercede the lower-order needs for food, shelter and comfort. Yet society and late-life adults themselves remain fixated on their basic needs because we have such low expectations and no real role for people who are not actively engaged in earning a living in order to consume.

Without an acknowledged role to play these late life adults are often robbed of their dignity and self-worth and suffer from feeling socially useless. Perhaps as a culture when we recognize the intrinsic value of functioning elders our limited expectations and discussions will broaden from just the financial cost and care of our aging population to the cultural, moral, character and spiritual benefits we receive from engaging our aging population in building social equity.

An Elder Corps might be an answer.

How They Might Serve?

The Elder Corps idea would provide opportunities for members to serve as volunteers in schools, hospitals, universities, hospices, day-care centers, and nursing homes.  They might take part in helping to repair our communities, and work with youngsters to heal their lives. Maybe they become mediators in the court system and neighborhood senior centers providing peaceful wisdom, selflessness and moral character to challenging and difficult problems. 

Elder Corps members would not seek political office or power nor would they typically take sides in debate as their main roles would be to stimulate dialogue and discussion, to listen to the views of all and offer sage advice when invited. However sometimes they may be called upon to be a force of moral and spiritual persuasion. By being in selfless service in this fashion they could earn the respect which they need and younger people might revere them not out of obligation of simply lived long but for their willingness to show true character and ongoing commitment to the greater community and the following generations.

Who Are These Elders?

The modern Elder is a person who is still growing still a learner, still with potential and whose life continues to have within it promise for, and connection to the future. An Elder is still in pursuit of happiness, joy and pleasure, and her or his birthright to these remains intact however this is directed by spiritually enlightened service. Moreover, an Elder is a person who deserves respect and honor and whose work it is to synthesize wisdom from long life experience and to formulate this into a legacy for future generations.

In addition, these older women and men ages fifty-five and beyond feel an ongoing responsibility for maintaining the well-being of our communities and society and safeguarding the health of our ailing planet. These individuals are today’s social pioneers committed to exploring the depths of this time of life through continued mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical development in their own lives.

The Elder Corps will attract men and women who have a passion for service and community and who see the aging process more as an art form than a predetermined outcome. These people want to make a difference and leave a legacy that enriches the lives of others and inspires us to live our lives by the highest possible values and are inspired to.

Can you please just imagine what it would be like when we as a society begin to have a dialogue about how to engage everyone in meaningful service. Not just for the sake of keeping busy in old age but to gain a renewed sense of contribution, purpose and self-worth. What would that be like for us all?

A different outcome is available for this time of life if we collectively choose to apply our minds an creative juices to a new vision of the aging process while also not accepting the traditional limited and diminished expectations for people our elders.